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The Day I Tried to Live
03/12/2013

The following is an excerpt from a much, lengthier work chat between former co-worker brahs Showtime and Kid Millions.

If, at work, you care for journeys there and back, out of the comfortable western world, over the edge of the abominably disgusting, and home again, and can take interest in a humble hero (cursed with little wisdom, and even less luck), here is a record of such a journey and such a traveler.

(2:46:11 PM) Showtime: so show was good saturday? sorry i missed it
(2:46:18 PM) Showtime: i had a crazy weekend
(2:46:21 PM) Kid Millions: yeah dude me too
(2:46:24 PM) Kid Millions: show was great. . .
(2:46:29 PM) Kid Millions: what happened to you?
(2:46:30 PM) Kid Millions: you OK?
(2:46:37 PM) Showtime: yeah i’m fine
(2:46:49 PM) Showtime: well i had a knyfe hyts show friday that knocked me out til sunday
(2:46:51 PM) Kid Millions: “Crazy weekend” = “Crazy Playoff Games”
(2:46:54 PM) Showtime: haha
(2:46:56 PM) Showtime: you have no idea
(2:48:45 PM) Showtime: between the pats game and the giants game
(2:48:48 PM) Showtime: dude.. this is so insane
(2:49:06 PM) Showtime: so I’m hungover. the doc and i do something we never ever do…
(2:49:21 PM) Showtime: WE ORDER A PIZZA
(2:50:11 PM) Kid Millions: GET OUT
(2:50:39 PM) Showtime: right?
(2:50:54 PM) Showtime: so the delivery guy—
(2:51:01 PM) Showtime: this is a guy driving a pizza to our house—
(2:51:10 PM) Showtime: gives a call
(2:51:21 PM) Showtime: “hey.. you ordered a pizza?
(2:51:26 PM) Showtime: and some wings?”
(2:51:30 PM) Kid Millions: haha
(2:51:31 PM) Showtime: okay
(2:51:43 PM) Showtime: we’ll be right down
(2:52:01 PM) Showtime: we’re getting some loot together.. we’re gonna shower this guy in coin
(2:52:10 PM) Showtime: he’s psyched
(2:52:23 PM) Kid Millions: Yeah – dude is hooking you up BIG TIME
(2:52:30 PM) Showtime: huge, right? HUGE
(2:52:36 PM) Showtime: THE GAME IS ON
(2:53:00 PM) Showtime: nicole opens the door of apartment to head down and dump cash on this guy’s skull
(2:53:21 PM) Showtime: and the moment we open our apartment door
(2:53:45 PM) Showtime: “HEEEEEEE…LLLLLLLLL…PPPPPPP”
(2:54:11 PM) Kid Millions: oh man
(2:54:43 PM) Showtime: “iiiiiiiiiiiiiii……….mmmm ssssssstuuuuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkkk”
(2:54:56 PM) Kid Millions: please
(2:55:07 PM) Showtime: Now,
(2:55:09 PM) Showtime: mind you,
(2:55:17 PM) Showtime: SF just threw a 73 yard touchdown
(2:56:12 PM) Showtime: and there’s a guy with pizza AND wings waiting in the cold to get real paid
(2:56:26 PM) Kid Millions: oh man
(2:56:43 PM) Showtime: the doc is all “Tom, is that you? What’s going on in there are you okay?”
(2:57:04 PM) Showtime: “HEEELLLPPP.. I FELL DOWN AND I’M STUCKPLEAAAAAAAAAAAAASSEE
(2:57:20 PM) Showtime: (heart sinking)
(2:57:35 PM) Showtime: “Okay man… is this door open? I can’t get it open”
(2:58:11 PM) Kid Millions: damn dude
(2:58:12 PM) Showtime: “YOUUU’LL HAVE TO GO AROOUUND.. THE OTHER DOOR [at the other end of the apartment from where he is] IS OOOOPEN
(2:58:12 PM) Kid Millions: what the hell
(2:58:30 PM) Kid Millions: dude – you are entering some twilight zone shit
(2:58:33 PM) Kid Millions: this is a screen play
(2:58:51 PM) Showtime: yeah.. it’s called SE7EN
(2:59:12 PM) Showtime: now here’s a wrinkle..
(2:59:55 PM) Showtime: Con Ed had a bad phase or something earlier that day.. so all the lights in all the stairwells and hallways of our building are out all day, and now it’s night time
(3:00:27 PM) Showtime: we get two maglites and nicole goes to retrieve the pizza
(3:00:29 PM) Showtime: cuz
(3:00:32 PM) Showtime: first things first, right
(3:00:44 PM) Showtime: We go to this dude’s back door
(3:00:57 PM) Showtime: and i try opening the door
(3:01:08 PM) Showtime: it’s unlocked,
(3:01:18 PM) Showtime: but i’m having trouble physically opening it
(3:01:23 PM) Showtime: it takes a lot of force
(3:01:45 PM) Showtime: in the dark
(3:01:52 PM) Showtime: i finally bust this door in
(3:02:05 PM) Kid Millions: too much
(3:02:23 PM) Showtime: now.. maybe you’ve heard me complain about my neighbor before
(3:02:35 PM) Showtime: Tom, the Quasimodo of the 3rd floor
(3:02:37 PM) Kid Millions: a little
(3:02:56 PM) Showtime: this guy deserves, from what little i know of him, a lot of pity
(3:03:01 PM) Showtime: he’s gotta be over 70
(3:03:06 PM) Showtime: he’s got nobody
(3:03:23 PM) Showtime: nicole thinks he’s had a history of stroke just by looking at him
(3:03:35 PM) Showtime: he has all kinds of back and breathing problems as well
(3:03:40 PM) Showtime: yet he lives alone,
(3:03:45 PM) Showtime: by himself, across the hall from us
(3:03:59 PM) Showtime: nobody’s ever been in his apartment
(3:04:18 PM) Kid Millions: OK
(3:04:18 PM) Showtime: but those of us who live on the third floor— nicole, myself, fred wallace and those before him
(3:04:29 PM) Showtime: have our suspicions
(3:04:38 PM) Kid Millions: huh. . .
(3:05:25 PM) Showtime: which are based almost entirely on the acrid odors that sit trapped in our hallway like a greenhouse gas
(3:06:00 PM) Showtime: a foul death… just a dead smell
(3:06:06 PM) Kid Millions: hmm
(3:06:08 PM) Showtime: heavy, thick, inert
(3:06:27 PM) Showtime: unmoving, unchanging, stench of death
(3:06:56 PM) Kid Millions: man oh man
(3:07:08 PM) Showtime: so this is a long way of saying.. we had pretty good prejudices about what sort of situation we might be walking into
(3:07:39 PM) Showtime: i bust this door open
(3:07:45 PM) Showtime: and i can’t see anything
(3:07:54 PM) Showtime: because it’s fucking pitch dark
(3:08:10 PM) Showtime: HE DOESN’T HAVE A WORKING LIGHT IN HIS APARTMENT
(3:08:58 PM) Showtime: “Tom… Tom where are you?”
(3:09:31 PM) Kid Millions: Oh come on dude
(3:09:34 PM) Kid Millions: what the hell!
(3:09:40 PM) Showtime: [in the distance] “I’m all the wayy bacccck.. all the waaay back heeerre.. please ccooome heeere… i’m gonna loossse myyyy legg!
(3:09:51 PM) Showtime: “steeep ooonn annytthing… it doesn’t matter”
(3:09:52 PM) Kid Millions: Holy SHIT
(3:09:57 PM) Kid Millions: dude. . .
(3:10:00 PM) Kid Millions: COME ON
(3:10:11 PM) Kid Millions: stop baldly lying to me!
(3:10:18 PM) Kid Millions: this shit doesn’t happen
(3:10:24 PM) Showtime: dude
(3:10:42 PM) Showtime: i’m a guy who’s watched a lot of movies
(3:10:45 PM) Showtime: so i know about life
(3:11:08 PM) Showtime: i’m standing outside this door, afraid to flash a light in there
(3:11:13 PM) Showtime: i’m looking at nicole like
(3:11:22 PM) Showtime: this dude probably doesn’t mean to kill us
(3:11:30 PM) Showtime: but in my mind
(3:11:36 PM) Showtime: i’m ready for anything
(3:12:06 PM) Showtime: i’m literally ready to kill if i have to
(3:12:12 PM) Showtime: just a little insight into the mind of showtime
(3:12:39 PM) Kid Millions: You had Arnold over your right shoulder egging you on
(3:13:07 PM) Showtime: haha.. yeah “come ahn, dooo eeet!”
(3:13:49 PM) Showtime: well suffice to say this is terra incognita
(3:13:57 PM) Showtime: nobody’s ever opened this door and had a look
(3:14:10 PM) Kid Millions: You prob need to call Fred now
(3:14:17 PM) Showtime: but i have to tell you.. this was odor very fucking cognita
(3:14:23 PM) Showtime: already
(3:14:35 PM) Kid Millions: congnita? meaning?
(3:14:40 PM) Showtime: overwhelming poisonous, thick reek
(3:14:47 PM) Kid Millions: oh dude – come on. . .wow
(3:14:50 PM) Kid Millions: this is out of control
(3:14:52 PM) Kid Millions: too much
(3:15:06 PM) Kid Millions: you have a window into this city. . .there are so many places like that
(3:16:59 PM) Showtime: “iiiiiiiiiii’m baaaaaaaaaaack heeeeeeeeeeerree… cooooome baaack heeeere”
(3:17:23 PM) Showtime: i just fucking take a deep breath
(3:17:28 PM) Showtime: and shine my light in there
(3:17:48 PM) Kid Millions: Shine a light
(3:18:34 PM) Showtime: right, I just shine my light
(3:19:06 PM) Showtime: and of course i’m looking exactly at what i’m smelling
(3:19:15 PM) Showtime: which is a landfill
(3:19:31 PM) Showtime: a wall
(3:19:34 PM) Showtime: to wall
(3:20:05 PM) Showtime: as far as my trusty beam can illuminate
(3:20:15 PM) Showtime: sea of filth
(3:20:28 PM) Showtime: garbage on top of garbage
(3:20:33 PM) Showtime: on top of garbage bags
(3:20:40 PM) Showtime: filled with god knows what
(3:20:46 PM) Showtime: a real life
(3:20:49 PM) Showtime: honest to goodness
(3:20:51 PM) Showtime: hoarder’s den
(3:21:08 PM) Kid Millions: yeah – well – you knew that was in there
(3:21:09 PM) Showtime: there isn’t a square inch of floor visible
(3:21:14 PM) Showtime: i did, i did
(3:21:18 PM) Showtime: i had my notions
(3:21:26 PM) Showtime: but dude
(3:21:35 PM) Showtime: it’s not like “there wasn’t any visible floor”
(3:22:06 PM) Showtime: the man had been walking, and living amidst, a pool of trash
(3:22:12 PM) Showtime: 3-8 feet high
(3:22:30 PM) Kid Millions: oh dude
(3:23:05 PM) Showtime: all of the ground was uneven… trash on top of trash bags full of trash
(3:23:33 PM) Showtime: i can make out that he’d run some nylon rope about two feet above “sea level”
(3:23:38 PM) Showtime: all along the apartment
(3:23:43 PM) Showtime: this is how this man
(3:23:46 PM) Showtime: who can barely walk
(3:24:08 PM) Showtime: was maneuvering around this moon bounce from hell
(3:24:38 PM) Kid Millions: what is going on!?
(3:24:43 PM) Kid Millions: what is happening?
(3:24:47 PM) Kid Millions: you’re freaking me out
(3:27:57 PM) Showtime: “steep onn anythhiinnng… i’‘m gonnnna looose myyyy leeeegggg…”
(3:28:18 PM) Kid Millions: dude. . .
(3:28:21 PM) Kid Millions: you need to write this up
(3:28:30 PM) Kid Millions: someday – you’ll need to remember this
(3:28:39 PM) Showtime: now i can’t see the dude! he’s like… at the other end of a 4 room apartment
(3:28:48 PM) Showtime: and it’s dark, and stanky
(3:29:05 PM) Showtime: i mean, i am completely disgusted
(3:29:59 PM) Showtime: but of course realize the man needs help and i have no second thoughts about helping him
(3:30:10 PM) Showtime: neither does the doc
(3:30:33 PM) Showtime: i mean.. from the moment either of us moved in we’ve basically been waiting for this moment
(3:32:09 PM) Kid Millions: right
(3:33:12 PM) Showtime: so i just suck it up and start carefully making my way across this dangerously uneven ground
(3:33:30 PM) Showtime: stepping on trash
(3:33:42 PM) Showtime: just fields of mouse shit
(3:33:55 PM) Showtime: and it’s eerily silent
(3:33:57 PM) Kid Millions: oh geez
(3:34:06 PM) Showtime: but for the groaning of this helpless man
(3:34:16 PM) Showtime: the squishing of our footsteps—
(3:34:20 PM) Showtime: i and the doc behind me—
(3:34:37 PM) Showtime: and the occasional mad dashing of what must be mice
(3:34:44 PM) Showtime: and what must be things much larger
(3:34:56 PM) Showtime: i mean.. it’s disgusting
(3:35:25 PM) Kid Millions: dude. . .COME ON
(3:35:28 PM) Kid Millions: COME ON
(3:35:31 PM) Kid Millions: This is toooo much
(3:37:09 PM) Kid Millions: OK. . .you have me hanging on
(3:38:01 PM) Showtime: sorry trying to get work done at the same time
(3:38:06 PM) Showtime: no idea why!
(3:38:11 PM) Kid Millions: http://www.disneystore.com/tees-clothes-waves-mickey-mouse-tee-for-adults/mp/1295574/1000228/
(3:38:49 PM) Showtime: bitin’ the jah
(3:38:51 PM) Showtime: AGAIN
(3:47:02 PM) Showtime: so i make my way room through room
(3:47:12 PM) Showtime: and finally get to the kitchen where i find this guy
(3:47:30 PM) Showtime: dude… i had to pass the bathroom
(3:47:44 PM) Showtime: the bathroom was full of trash too
(3:47:54 PM) Showtime: the rim of the toilet seat was sea level there
(3:48:05 PM) Showtime: the sink was filled with cigarette butts
(3:48:15 PM) Showtime: THIS DUDE WAS SMOKING IN THIS APARTMENT
(3:49:48 PM) Kid Millions: dude – the landlord needs to be brought into this
(3:50:04 PM) Showtime: the Lord needs to be brought into this
(3:50:21 PM) Showtime: maybe i’ll spare you more details
(3:50:36 PM) Showtime: but suffice it to say, the kitchen was ground zero
(3:50:40 PM) Showtime: the absolute worst
(3:50:48 PM) Showtime: garbage piled 8 feet high
(3:51:10 PM) Showtime: i find tom, squinting in the beam of my flashlight
(3:51:33 PM) Showtime: and it looks like he’s lying down, about level with his kitchen sink, right next to it
(3:51:46 PM) Showtime: so the garbage is only piled up counter height where he is
(3:52:00 PM) Showtime: but there’s at least an 8 foot mountain next to him
(3:52:34 PM) Showtime: again, no floor.. i’m approaching him, treading lightly on about as much garbage as he’s lying down on
(3:52:49 PM) Showtime: i can finally see the situation
(3:53:29 PM) Showtime: he must have been standing at some point, on a mountain of garbage next to the sink
(3:53:54 PM) Showtime: when the “ground” gave in under his right foot, the foot closest to the sink and counter
(3:54:07 PM) Showtime: his leg had fallen knee deep
(3:54:39 PM) Showtime: in a narrow crevice formed by the adjacent, rounded backs of two wooden chairs somewhere beneath the garbage
(3:55:07 PM) Showtime: he had then fallen backwards, so his right leg is bent at the knee
(3:55:12 PM) Kid Millions: dude – you could have gotten killed
(3:55:21 PM) Kid Millions: you need to call the Fire Department or something
(3:55:42 PM) Showtime: well, here’s the thing dude
(3:56:06 PM) Showtime: it’s probably 7-7 by now
(3:56:29 PM) Kid Millions: what’s that mean
(3:56:46 PM) Showtime: i mean the giants have tied the game up
(3:56:55 PM) Showtime: but i don’t know that yet
(3:56:59 PM) Kid Millions: haha. . .
(3:57:07 PM) Kid Millions: you are in such an alternate reality right now
(3:57:08 PM) Showtime: here’s the thing… before we did ANYTHING, we did two things
(3:57:14 PM) Showtime: 1.
(3:57:18 PM) Showtime: WE GOT THE FUCKING PIZZA
(3:57:23 PM) Showtime: 2.
(3:57:27 PM) Showtime: I PAUSED THE TV
(3:57:41 PM) Kid Millions: SERIOUSFUCKINGLY
(3:58:00 PM) Showtime: dude… the second we heard Tom cry for help
(3:58:12 PM) Showtime: and ascertained roughly what was up
(3:58:25 PM) Showtime: Nicole went to get the pizza and I paused the game
(3:58:32 PM) Showtime: we got our flashlights
(3:58:36 PM) Showtime: and we headed in
(3:59:05 PM) Showtime: so right now I’ve got one foot on a mountain of garbage higher than your kitchen sink
(3:59:17 PM) Showtime: and another foot on the kitchen counter,
(3:59:24 PM) Showtime: which itself is covered in 1 foot of trash
(3:59:57 PM) Showtime: and i’m trying to clear the garbage off of one of these chairs to see if one of them can be moved just enough to free this guy’s foot
(4:00:04 PM) Showtime: the shit i am touching
(4:00:09 PM) Showtime: literally… shit
(4:00:15 PM) Showtime: is beyond foul
(4:00:21 PM) Showtime: i’ll never use that flashlight again
(4:00:46 PM) Showtime: all the while i’m doing this
(4:00:55 PM) Showtime: Dr. Nicole E____
(4:01:05 PM) Kid Millions: dude – the DOC
(4:01:14 PM) Kid Millions: did she say, “Hey I’m a Dr”
(4:01:16 PM) Showtime: is consulting this guy the way only a doctor who’s seen it all can berate a patient
(4:01:28 PM) Showtime: TOM, WHAT THE HELL
(4:01:52 PM) Showtime: HOW ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE LIKE THIS? WITH YOUR BACK? THIS IS SO DANGEROUS
(4:02:34 PM) Showtime: the doc is giving the patient the straight skinny
(4:02:58 PM) Showtime: She’s letting him know he’s not gonna be able to live unassisted anymore
(4:03:00 PM) Kid Millions: yeah – why sugar coat it
(4:03:24 PM) Showtime: yes.. she’s knee deep in shit and way past that
(4:03:45 PM) Showtime: it’s beyond clear the man can’t take care of himself
(4:03:50 PM) Showtime: and is a danger to everyone in the building
(4:04:10 PM) Showtime: she’s not being mean… she’s just letting him know
(4:04:12 PM) Showtime: with authority
(4:04:16 PM) Showtime: that he’s not safe here anymore
(4:04:44 PM) Showtime: i finally clear garbage off from this chair
(4:05:28 PM) Showtime: but there’s nowhere to move the chair
(4:05:43 PM) Showtime: it is COMPLETELY surrounded by mountains of garbage that no man could possibly clean by himself
(4:05:50 PM) Showtime: and tom and i try all kinds of ways trying to stand him up so that maybe he can just lift his foot out the same way it got in there
(4:05:53 PM) Showtime: no dice
(4:06:03 PM) Kid Millions: pleas
(4:06:18 PM) Showtime: “the doc takes charge
(4:06:37 PM) Showtime: Shahin, do you have any way of doing this?”
(4:06:39 PM) Showtime: no
(4:06:47 PM) Showtime: “I’m calling the fire department”
(4:07:03 PM) Kid Millions: Yeah – straight facts
(4:07:04 PM) Showtime: pleeeaaase… i’ll pay youuuu… please don’t call the fire department…
(4:07:06 PM) Kid Millions: playoff game
(4:07:22 PM) Kid Millions: I’ll pay you. . .like what? I think I would do it for 10K
(4:07:30 PM) Kid Millions: nothing less is worth it
(4:07:32 PM) Showtime: Tom… we have to call the fire department. I can’t get you out of here I need help
(4:07:40 PM) Showtime: You need help
(4:08:01 PM) Showtime: “theeeeeeyy’re gonnnan be freeeeakkked oooout”
(4:08:07 PM) Showtime: “They’ve seen a lot Tom”
(4:08:19 PM) Showtime: the laaandloooooord… heee’s gonna be maaaaad”
(4:08:30 PM) Showtime: “Let’s worry about your leg first, Tom”
(4:08:56 PM) Kid Millions: oh man – you saw the shit first hand
(4:09:19 PM) Showtime: dude… two trucks showed up
(4:09:23 PM) Showtime: like a dozen firefighters
(4:09:28 PM) Kid Millions: of course – they really make it special
(4:09:38 PM) Kid Millions: they must see this kind of stuff every day
(4:09:39 PM) Showtime: they fucking bust in the kitchen door..
(4:09:48 PM) Kid Millions: wow
(4:09:49 PM) Kid Millions: OK
(4:09:50 PM) Showtime: we just lead them in and explain the situation
(4:09:55 PM) Showtime: we hear them breaking shit
(4:10:03 PM) Showtime: we retreat to our apartment
(4:10:11 PM) Showtime: disrobe completely
(4:10:19 PM) Showtime: decontaminate… garbage bags, everything
(4:10:38 PM) Showtime: and we grab a fucking slice of pizza
(4:10:45 PM) Kid Millions: oh my god dude
(4:10:48 PM) Showtime: and break open a wing
(4:10:53 PM) Kid Millions: how long did it take for the firemen to come
(4:10:59 PM) Showtime: five minutes
(4:11:02 PM) Kid Millions: wow.. .
(4:11:04 PM) Kid Millions: amazing
(4:11:21 PM) Showtime: and we’re chomping on this cold food
(4:11:32 PM) Showtime: and we can hear hollywood firefighter barking
(4:11:32 PM) Kid Millions: well – I understand the firemen breaking down a door and breaking stuff. . .perhaps it’s not that sensitive – but then again – they need to protect themselves to do their job
(4:11:41 PM) Showtime: no no no.. they had to
(4:11:47 PM) Showtime: they had to get him out on a stretcher
(4:11:58 PM) Kid Millions: So what’s going to happen?
(4:12:15 PM) Showtime: fire dept has to take him to a hospital which they did
(4:12:17 PM) Showtime: he went to woodhall
(4:12:24 PM) Showtime: i called the landlord and told him everything
(4:12:46 PM) Showtime: the landlord had to come down cuz the cops couldn’t get the door back on and secured completely.. landlord had to sign off
(4:13:08 PM) Kid Millions: yeah. . .totally. . .I mean what do you do in that case?
(4:13:13 PM) Showtime: they’re gonna call social services… that dude is gonna go to assisted living.. the landlord is gonna clean the apartment out
(4:13:17 PM) Kid Millions: do you clear out all the shit? Hire someone
(4:13:24 PM) Kid Millions: And then I’m moving in
(4:13:40 PM) Showtime: you should
(4:13:43 PM) Kid Millions: and gonna start packing it back up



Dear Pentagon, From One Five-Piece to Another [Loose Lixx Sink Riffs]
07/15/2011

I was reading today about how a bunch of cyber-punx, probably led by a young Angelina Jolie if my knowledge of history serves me, stole the Pentagon’s email password or something and got the plans for the Death Star, the wave motion gun, the next election, world domination, etc.

Not trying to overstep my expertise, but I’d like to point out that in over FIVE YEARS of having a PC in the Ocropolis, Oneida has NEVER COMPLAINED of a single leaked track.

Absolute II? We finished that thing a year ago! But I still meet people who don’t even know it’s out!

A little file management tip from the O, secret agent brahs and sahs (if you DO exist): DON’T connect your golden goose to the goddamned internet. NEVER keep your password on a yellow sticky taped to your desk, and NEVER make any notes about where any cool-sounding files you may need might be located. When JAH wants to find it, JAH finds it.



A Few Sets That Helped Me Out in 2010
01/17/2011

Wolf Eyes/ Black Dice/ Growing @ Secret Project Robot, Brooklyn, NY

Sadie-era Growing opened with fun of the most serious kind, I love how she’s kinda turned their frowns upside down; the Dice dropped a typically insanely brain-damaged set of brand new “beat” oriented (the part of the beat that survives the black hole) material for kids the world over to spend the next ten years slowly fashioning into collegiate electro-barbershop Epcot Center music; and Wolf Eyes once again deployed concepts and techniques of power electronics, noise, free jazz, and—I dunno, folk music, who cares— for the noble purpose of throwing a killer party with beer, skating, and fun, much to the chagrin of those genres’ purists, and the endless delight of music lovers everywhere, but more accurately those from Michigan. They always sound like reggae to me, just really, really heavy. 500 kids crammed into a 250 capacity gallery space in 100 degree heat, easily my favorite show of the year.

Laurie Anderson, “Delusion” @ BAM Harvey Theater Brooklyn, NY

In which the 63 year old Anderson points out, among other things, that a woman’s ‘maiden’ name (baaaAAARRF) is to this day kept such secret knowledge, it can be used to positively identify a person in the digital era. May your donkey never die, Laurie Anderson.

Daniel Carter/Ryan Sawyer/C. Spencer Yeh @ Union Pool Brooklyn, NY

Fewer sets made me feel prouder of this cartoon ambition-fueled talent-draining supermagnet of a city than the wild/garbled/beautiful/disgusting intergenerational improv this future downtown hall of fame induction ceremony outfit spit. You are all why I’m still here.

Su Cuntrattu Seneghesu de Boricheddu Trogu @ Here I Stay Festival 2010, Sardigna, IT

Canto a tenore is something you’ll probably have to look up if you’re not as up on your Etruscology as an unemployed guitarist like myself. Any time I get to travel to play music I feel lucky. Going to Sardinia with Oneida and seeing these gents perform tunes from this Bronze Age tradition was a deeper and more complicated experience than Sunn o)))) and Boris, trust me.

Till by Turning @ Vaudeville Brooklyn, NY

Erica Dicker’s violin playing made me realize I have no idea how to play the guitar.

Man Forever @ Monster Island Basement Brooklyn, NY

I had a great seat at this one I know, but look: Richard Hoffman is my favorite bassist in Brooklyn, the only one that could possibly hold up his or her end of the date with 6 sympathetically tuned drum sets. So just make some room up there, Brad Truax.



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